Today, society places a high priority on "responsibility" in children. Responsibility can be thought of as respect for the rights of others and personal accountability for one's actions. Responsible children use their own resources, confidence, and judgment to make decisions, act independently, consider the effect their actions have on others and meet their own needs without interfering with other's rights.

In the development of responsibility, it is important to differentiate between typical childish behavior and truly responsible actions. When a problem exists, the following guidelines should be considered: How often is this a problem? Does the behavior predominate the child's actions or is there only an occasional lapse of responsibility? Most school age children forget an assignment occasionally, but a daily or weekly problem could signal trouble in accepting responsibilities. Does the behavior change when concerns are brought to the child's attention? If a child's lack of attention to rules/assignments is the subject of frequent complaints from teachers or parents, the situation warrants further investigation.

Does the child have an opportunity to be responsible. A child can demonstrate responsible behavior only if given a chance. Parents must allow a child the freedom to make choices, demonstrate judgement, and learn from mistakes.

Are expectations appropriate? The natural progression of children's intellectual, physical, and emotional growth allows for increasing acceptance of responsibility. It is very important that the expectations placed on children match their abilities. Following are examples of tasks that most children can accept at a given age:

Preschooler: Usually can clean up toys with some direction or assistance, should be expected to sit and play independently short periods of time, can often select clothes and dress themselves with little verbal or physical assistance.

Early School Age: Often follows rules of group games, can express anger without hitting usually, does simple chores independently (clears table, puts belongings away), can care for hygiene and dressing needs.

Intermediate School Age: Can complete assignments independently, can organize personal time, respects personal property of others.

Adolescents: Can evaluate and respond when extra help is needed around the house, follows curfew rules, lets parents know changes in plans, respects rights of others, develops awareness of long term planning, career exploration.

There are several strategies used by adults to help develop responsibility in children. Following are guidelines: Model appropriate, responsible behavior: set an example of respect for self and others, return extra change to a cashier, finish chores before relaxing, speak respectfully to others, handle anger appropriately.

Communicate effectively: expectations and rules should be clear and positive to children. The reasons for rules should be given to develop an awareness of their helpfulness and respect they gain when acting responsibly.

The ad campaign kicked off during the 1992 Super Bowl. Two American decathletes, one named Dan and one named Dave, were primed for a showdown at the Barcelona Olympics. Reebok sponsored both.

Over 6 months, the company spent $25 million promoting the greatest made-for-advertising rivalry since breakfast cereal’s Quisp versus Quake showdown. The barrage was scheduled to peak at the Olympics, where it was assumed that either O’Brien or Dave Johnson would earn gold in the grueling, 10-event competition. The winner would get fame, fortune, and the unofficial title of World’s Greatest Athlete. Reebok would win either way.

O’Brien, then 26, was cocky, primed for success. On the day of the pole-vault competition during the Olympic Trials, O’Brien was so confident he didn’t bother securing a couple of easy jumps; he started right off with a challenging height: 15 feet, 8¾ inches, a height he’d equaled or exceeded dozens-no, hundreds - of times. And yet on his first, then second, then third and final try, he failed to clear it, earning a score of zero for the event. O’Brien didn’t make the team. His failure became a national joke.

After drowning his disappointment on Bourbon Street, O’Brien staggered in a daze through the weeks that followed, wondering how he’d managed to blow the opportunity of a lifetime in three sprints down the pole-vault runway. "I remember feeling really alone, with nobody to turn to," he says now. "I’d never failed before. I had no idea how to deal with it."

When O’Brien is asked how much money he lost by simply failing to clear the bar, the answer comes quickly. "Five million dollars," he says. "It didn’t hit me right away because I wasn’t thinking about it in those terms, but in the days that followed, I read that figure over and over again in the papers. ‘Dan O’Brien just blew $5 million.’ It hit me then."

O’Brien hit back with a two-part strategy. First, he extrapolated out into the future. If he’d made the team and won the gold, he would have had instant wealth and fame. But where would he have wound up after that? O’Brien came to believe that failure at 26 saved him from the inevitable self-destruction that would have followed. He was a free spirit and a drinker. He’d had a difficult childhood, battled with issues brought on by his racially mixed heritage, flunked out of college. He’d been making up for past troubles with a vengeance. And $5 million would have bought a lot of vengeance.

The second part of his strategy was to envision a different kind of future - a path that would lead him to the same wealth and fame, but without the pitfalls. Failure had provided a reality check.

In 1996 in Atlanta, O’Brien exorcised his demons with an emotional performance on his native soil, winning the gold. He may have been headed for a second gold in Sydney in 2000 when an injury sidelined him before the Olympic Trials.

The difference in perspective gained with such a spectacular blunder has changed the way O’Brien considers his own achievements. Just making the team in 2004 will mean more to him, it’s fair to say, than a gold medal would have in 1992. "Had I won the first time, I would have accepted it as my due and learned nothing from it," he says. "Now I know I can fight off adversity. I realize that I have to keep working for success. That’s a lesson for life."

Parents are the most important people in a child's life. Parents make a difference. As your child progresses through school, work together with your child and the school to ensure your child has the best education possible. To help you implement some of the suggestions, keep in mind the word PARENT and what each letter stands for:

P Praise your children.

A Ask your child's teacher if you have questions how he/she is doing.

R Reward your child with attention. Be ready and willing to help.

E Encourage your child to do his/her best and complete all work.

N Notice all daily work and school information concerning your child.

T Take time with your child. Do it today! You can never be certain if

you will have the opportunity tomorrow.

I dreamed I stood in a studio and watched two sculptors there,

The clay they used was a young child's mind, and they fashioned it with care.

One was a teacher: the tools she used were books, music, and art.

One, a parent who worked with a guiding hand and a gentle, loving heart.

Day after day the teacher toiled with touch that was deft and sure,

While the parent labored by her side and polished and smoothed it o'er.

And when at last their task was done, They were proud of what they wrought:

For the things they had molded into the child could neither be sold or bought.

And each agreed he would have failed if he had worked alone,

For behind the teacher stood the school, and behind the parent, the home.